


They Call Him Ranch Cause He Be Dressing

by SweetChikaCherryCola



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Crowley-centric (Good Omens), F/M, Fashion & Couture, Godparents Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), M/M, Possessive Crowley, Shoes, Soft Aziraphale (Good Omens), as far as the whole nanny thing goes, crowley is a fashion icon, crowley loves kids, he just doesn't admit it, like i imagine crowley got attached a smige to warlock, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-06-30 09:58:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19850791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetChikaCherryCola/pseuds/SweetChikaCherryCola
Summary: Wherever he goes Crowley must make an impression.A series of fashion-forward Crowley because I love clothes I can't afford and David Tennant could rock them all with a swagger no mortal could match.





	1. Merde, I love them Jimmy Choo

Every day was a ‘dress-up day’ as far as Crowley was concerned. There was no such thing as gender-exclusive in his eyes. There was no such thing as gender with inhuman beings to begin with. That is why he paid no mind to the whispers of the curious women around him as he tried on his third pair of Jimmy boots. This time it was a pair of stretch satin with draped crystals. The Lyja 100 boots were decadent and dominating.  
Once he pulled both shoes on he stood with all the grace of a dancer and did an experimental walk around the store to see how they felt. Tilting his head he turned to the shop assistant who eyed him with confusion, but also an eagerness that spoke of someone trying to make a commission.

“Do these say ‘come dine with me in decadency angel I promise it will be worth the sin’?” He asked her with a brow raised above his dark sunglasses.

“Of course sir.” She beamed. “Might I add that they make your legs looks even longer.”

“Really?” He asked surprised.

“Yes, sir. Might I also add that those over the knee suede boots and black velvet with embroidery looked particularly good on you as well.” She chirped.

Crowley eyed the eager girl with a smirk before nodding.

“Alright then, I’ll take the lot.” He said moving toward the register. “I'll just wear these out.”

The shop assistant rushed to collect the other boots and the loafers he came in with. It wasn’t every day she was able to convince someone to spend over $6,000.

* * *

  
The bell jingling over the door attracted the attention of the resident bibliophile. The angel put on his best smile and emerged from the back with a greeting on his lips only to freeze. A bright red flush overtook his cheeks as he took in the sight before him.

“Hello, Angel.” Crowley purred as he sauntered into Aziraphale's space with a knowing grin on his face. “Care to dine at the ritz this evening?”

Aziraphale couldn’t bring himself to speak so he simply nodded in agreement.

“Do you like my new shoes Zira?” He cooed in the angel’s ear his voice coiling through the other’s mind as it once did to the first man in Eden.

“Yes, quite.” Aziraphale managed to choke out. “They are quite becoming.”

“I should hope so.” Crowley grinned.

~*The Boots*~

<https://us.jimmychoo.com/en/women/shoes/boots/lyja-100/black-stretch-satin-bootie-with-crystal-necklace-detail--LYJA100XSN0C0701.html?cgid=women-shoes-boots#start=1>


	2. Alexander McQueen, eh-oh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nanny knows best.....how to keep them thirsty.

Warlock beamed at his nanny/godparent as they pulled up to the manor in their Bentley. The tween was the only member of the house that was aware of his care giver’s non-conventional style. Over the years Nanny Ashtoreth had loosened up on the straight-backed front they presented to Warlock’s busy parents allowing the boy a glimpse of, who he thinks is the coolest person in existence, the real Nanny Ashtoreth.

The moment they stepped out of their car Warlock had wrapped his thin arms around the elder’s waist.

“Now dear it’s only been a day, surely you haven’t missed me that much?” Their calming accented voice cooed as they shut the door to their Bently. 

Warlock clung to his nanny’s side as they moved toward the house. Once inside Warlock released them to take in their outfit. The dress they wore was fitted and had lines of multi-colored metallic thread crossing thick bands of black. The collar, sleeves, and hem were lined with ruffles. They seemed a bit overdressed for babysitting. 

“Not that it doesn’t suit you,” The tween started with his own casual brand of smart ass that was learned from the very person he was speaking to. “But what's up with the dress? Hot date tonight?”

The smirk he received in reply was all hee needed to hover around his nanny like an eager puppy.

“Who is it? Do I know them? Is it that gardener? Would he even appreciate the dress? It looks really expensive. I like it though. Are you going….” 

Nanny placed a finger to the child’s lips to silence him.

“Don’t concern yourself with my private affairs. Nanny Ashtoreth can handle her business just fine.” They smirked. “ Nanny knows what’s best to catch the gaze of the masses after all. Now, what kinds of mischief can we get up to today?”

“This kid at school that picks on me sometimes just got a new video game.” Warlock explains, already sensing the fire burning behind the dark glasses on Nanny’s face as a frown stretched dark lips. “Maybe we can ruin it for him.”

Nanny grasped his shoulder with a cruel smile. 

“That is an excellent idea, dear boy. Why don’t we go into town, get the game, and do a bit of trolling?”

Warlock grinned rushing back outside toward Nanny’s car. They smoothed out their dress of any wrinkles before following the eager boy. 

~*The Dress*~

<https://www.alexandermcqueen.com/us/alexandermcqueen/midi-dress_cod34961885vn.html#dept=w_dresses>


	3. I'm so reckless when I rock my Givenchy dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Go out and go hard

“Do you do this often?” The witch asked as they walked up to the steps of the concert hall. “Going out to operas in expensive clothes?”

“Its good to indulge in the pretentious things in life.” Crowley answered.

“You look nice, but did you really have to go this far for an opera?” Anathema asked as she walked by his side into the concert hall foyer. 

“Don’t get all bent out of shape because you didn’t see it first witch.” Crowley hummed smirking at a group of shocked ladies huddled by the entrance.

The black chantilly lace fabric of his top showed far more skin than socially acceptable. Having paired it with snug leather pants that hugged his narrow hips as they made their way to their waiting dates. Crowley was making his statement and dropping the mic.

“I always put effort into looking my best no matter the occasion. Surely you do the same considering when I hit you with my car you were wearing a rather pricey frock.”

“I try not to remember that.” Anathema grimaced waving to a flushed Newton.

Aziraphale was just as surprised standing at the human’s side. Crowley never failed to surprise him. 

“Well considering this opera night was all Angel’s idea I try to stay on my best behavior.” Crowley drawled.

“And reminding me that I got hit by your pretentious car is good behavior.” Anathema hissed as they reached their dates.

“Well, I have to get my fun from somewhere. Might as well get it from my devilish taste and tormenting you.” Crowley smirked wrapping an arm around Aziraphale’s waist.

Anathema took in the sight of the couple and couldn't help but concede to the fact that they looked very good together. The booksellers pristine and proper white suit jacket next to the, she doesn’t actually know what he does to gain the income to afford brand name fashion of that caliber, see-through lace and bare flesh of the other. Seeing the gleam in those expensive sunglasses made the witch sniff and wish for the other to freeze during the performance. The pretentious demon only grinned at her obvious irritation. 

~*The Top*~

<https://www.givenchy.com/america/en/top-in-chantilly-lace/BW60GN206T-001.html?cgid=TOP_W#start=1>


	4. I'll let him do what he want, He buy me Yves Saint Laurent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale knows what his demon likes.

It wasn’t every day that Aziraphale brought him gifts. Usually, it was Crowley that went out over the top in his intent to spoil the angel with frivolous things. An expensive assortment of chocolates here, a rare decrepit book from a crypt dating back to Albion there, just little indulgencies for his soft feathered beau. However, on the rare occasion, Aziraphel did bring him something it was almost always sentimental. This time was not one of those times.

“Do you like them?” Aziraphale asked curiously as he shifted on his feet. “I tried to pick some things along the lines of what you usually wear, but I'm not a very good judge of the brands you buy.”

Before the demon was a leather jacket, silk lame shirt, blood-red suede skirt, and checkered Italian leather derbies. Crowley loved this being and would literally kill for them. Especially at this moment. 

“I'm trying them on.” Crowley wheezed as he snatched the clothes heading to the back room of the bookshelf.

Aziraphale was confused at the reaction, but overall happy that the demon seemed to enjoy what he had chosen. The salesgirl had to point him in the right direction leading to the angel buying from both the men’s and women’s departments. His pondering was soon interrupted by the return of the demon in the aforementioned clothes. 

“After all these years you remember my exact size.” Crowley grinned striking poses after pose as he gave the angel a smoldering stare with his now revealed eyes.

“Of course.” Aziraphale beamed eyeing the very long legs revealed by the high waisted skirt. “How could I ever forget anything about you?”

“Aren't you just cavity-inducing.” Crowley said drawing the smaller male into his arms and pressing a kiss to his head.

Aziraphale gladly returned the embrace pressing a kiss to the other’s cheek.

“I love them. They are just my type.” Crowley declared into the other’s soft white hair.

“I'm so happy you enjoy them. I had no idea there were so many different kinds of leather jackets before today.” Aziraphale informed stepping back enough to gaze up into Crowley’s eyes.

“That just means I’ll have to educate you in the ways of higher fashion. I don’t understand why since you clearly had a handle on fashion in the late 1700s.” Crowley asked with a raised brow.

Aziraphale shugged snuggling back into the demon.

~*The Coat*~

<https://www.ysl.com/us/shop-product/women/ready-to-wear-coats-double-breasted-pea-jacket-in-shiny-leather_cod41898138dv.html#dept=women_rtw_leather>

~*The Shirt*~

<https://www.ysl.com/us/shop-product/men/ready-to-wear-classic-shirts-shirt-in-lame-silk-voile_cod38849111kf.html#dept=men_rtw_shirts>

~*The Skirt*~

<https://www.ysl.com/us/shop-product/women/ready-to-wear-leather-short-skirts-suede-skirt_cod35413448gh.html#dept=women_rtw_leather>

~*The Shoes*~

<https://www.ysl.com/us/shop-product/men/shoes-classic-shoes-jonas-derby-in-a-lacquered-ayers-patchwork_cod11715559bn.html#dept=men_shoes_loafers_and_lace_ups>


	5. These is Red Bottoms, These is Bloody Shoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He don't dance now, he make money moves

Aziraphale paused the moment he set foot in Crowley’s Mayfair Flat. He had not informed the Demon he would be visiting so it came as a heavy shock to the angel when he got his first look at just what Crowley wore. The demon seemed to have just come back from visiting young Warlock and was still somewhat in the visage of Nanny Ashtoreth. His hair was grown out and pinned up for that classic golden age starlet look. He was standing, back to the front door, in the center of his model showroomesque living room, but those were not the things giving the angel the impurest of thoughts. It was the fact that the demon had dropped his dress at the exact moment Aziraphale opened the door revealing a lot of lace, skin, and the thigh-high stiletto boots that climbed up his mile-long legs. Crowley stepped out of the dress puddle revealing the bright red bottoms of the boots that acted like a siren’s call. Aziraphale's breath hitched at the shifting of sparse fabric as Crowley turned slightly to look over his shoulder to reveal his still made-up face. A devilish smirk stretched across his face bringing a crinkle to those unblinking reptilian eyes.

“See something you desire?” His silky voice cooed crawling over the angel and tempting him to push forward.

The closer he got the more Aziraphale wanted to touch the seemingly endless expanse of pale skin. Crowley didn’t move an inch, standing still in a way that mimicked a snake eyeing up its prey for the chance to strike. 

“You can touch Zira, I would never begrudge you the pleasure.” Crowley continued to serenade him with spoken words alone.

Oh, how easy it was to give in to this snake’s temptation. Aziraphale raised a shaky hand ready to touch when he was suddenly found himself falling roughly back onto the barely used sofa. He was confused about how he got into the position. That is until he glanced down at his chest to see one of those devastatingly sinful boots holding him down. His gaze followed the shoe from its toe all the way up to the pale thighs and lace covered hips. 

“Oh dear.” Aziraphale squeaked.

“Do you like them.” Crowley purred bracing his weight on the heel, basically stepping on the angel, as he leaned down to be face to face with his beau.

“Yes.” Aziraphale breathed desperately.

“Do you want me to keep them on for the night?” Crowley hissed in his ear, his tongue darting out to lick the other’s ear.

“Can you wear them forever?” Aziraphale whimpered drawing a chuckle from the demon.

“That can be arranged.” Crowley grinned. "But then you wouldn't get to see the rest of my collection.

~*The Lingerie*~ 

<https://www.kissmedeadly.co.uk/collections/shop/products/pre-order-fawcett-black-lace-brief?variant=13937239064618>

~*The Shoes*~

<http://us.christianlouboutin.com/us_en/shop/women/louise-x-1.html>


	6. With Your Gucci Bag Crew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper doesn't approve of materialism.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a hot minute, I went on vacation, but now I'm back! I will start taking requests for chapters once I reach chapter 8, I have them planned to that point. You can put ideas in the comments or shoot me some ideas on my tumblrs Sweetchikacherry & Sweetchikacherrycola or twitter Chikacherrycola! I'll be posting a few more chapters today so stay tuned!

“Must we trek through the woods every time we visit?” Crowley sneered as he sidestepped a rock and clutched his drawstring bag closer to his side.

“Adam likes to have picnics and I would never begrudge him for wanting to.” Aziraphale beamed gesturing at the said boy as he rushed ahead with his 3 friends and dog.

“He better be thankful I had enough bags to carry all of this from the car.” The demon continued lifting the duffle in his hand in gesture.

“Oh, you love these little get-togethers.” Aziraphale cooed kissing the demons cheek causing the demon to blush and hold in his complaints.

After a few minutes, the kids came to a stop in a clearing. Aziraphale went to work pulling out several large blankets and spreading them about. Crowley plopped down on blankets and settled his bags beside him. Pepper approached the demon with her usual skeptic face.

“Are those real or just cheap knockoffs?” She asked gesturing to not only Crowley’s but also Aziraphale bags.

Crowley smirked nodding in confirmation.

“Very.”

He gestured to the white floral print tote that Aziraphale was previously carrying.

“I gave him that specifically for these little day trips. He has his own little collection of them now, but I think that one is his favorite.”

“How much was it? The one you have just looks like a laundry bag. It even says so.” Pepper pointed out drawing the attention of others.

“But it isn’t.” Crowley smirked. “It cost me enough.”

“But what value could possibly be placed on something that looks like it's barely worth 20 quid?” Adam asked in his own personal brand of what the hell did you get it for.

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” Crowley replied opening his horned piper printed bag and pulling out a duffle covered in embroidered planets, clouds, and spaceship appliques. The Gucci logo settled off-center was very hard to miss. “A gift of materialism for you.”

Adam stared at the gaudy bag in disbelief before looking up at Crowley with a raised brow.

“What exactly am I supposed to do with it?” 

~*Crowley's Bag*~

[https://www.gucci.com/us/en/pr/men/mens-bags/mens-totes/drawstring-tote-with-chateau-marmont-print-p-55240393YAT9563?position=113&listName=ProductGrid&categoryPath=Men/Mens-Bags/Mens-Totes](https://www.gucci.com/us/en/pr/men/mens-bags/mens-totes/drawstring-tote-with-chateau-marmont-print-p-55240393YAT9563?position=113&listName=ProductGrid&categoryPath=Men/Mens-Bags/Mens-Totes)

~*Aziraphale's Tote*~

[https://www.gucci.com/us/en/pr/men/mens-bags/mens-totes/medium-gucci-print-floral-tote-p-575140GZ2A09063?position=64&listName=ProductGrid&categoryPath=Men/Mens-Bags/Mens-Totes](https://www.gucci.com/us/en/pr/men/mens-bags/mens-totes/medium-gucci-print-floral-tote-p-575140GZ2A09063?position=64&listName=ProductGrid&categoryPath=Men/Mens-Bags/Mens-Totes)

~*Adam's Duffle*~

[https://www.gucci.com/us/en/pr/men/mens-bags/mens-duffle-bags/gucci-courrier-soft-gg-supreme-duffle-bag-p-459311K9RMT8343?position=122&listName=ProductGrid&categoryPath=Men/Mens-Bags](https://www.gucci.com/us/en/pr/men/mens-bags/mens-duffle-bags/gucci-courrier-soft-gg-supreme-duffle-bag-p-459311K9RMT8343?position=122&listName=ProductGrid&categoryPath=Men/Mens-Bags)


	7. Talk to Me Harry Winston Tell Me All About It!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley doesn't understand the meaning of excess.

Crowley gazed down at the fine craftsmanship of the 2 rings before him. One held a large pink sapphire in its center nestled between rubies, diamonds, and smaller pink sapphires. The other held a large red oval spinet surrounded by lilac and blue sapphires and many square-cut diamonds. They were both gorgeous pieces, but the demon could not decide which one was better. He glanced up at the waiting attendant and gestured between the two.

“Which do you think would look better on someone who smells like old books and rose water?” He asked seriously. “They do wear a lot of neutral colors, especially white, so that should be taken into account as well.”

The attendant gave him a drawl stare before gazing between the two rings.

“Both would look lovely sir. The pink more so if you would like my personal opinion.

“That's just it, I actually want all 9 of the bloody things, but I would probably get an earful for it.” Crowley growled staring the pink sapphire down as if it scratched his beloved Bentley. “Do you think it would offend them if I get all 9?”

The attendant gave him a disbelieving look.

“All 9? As in you want to purchase every design in the collection?”

“Yeah.” Crowley waved off the wide-eyed stare as if the panic was not warranted. “It's not like I haven't done it before. I got the entire Aladdin collection from Zales not to long ago. See.”

Crowley reached into his shirt to show a black cobra dotted with diamonds. This also drew attention to the matching ring and hoops the demon wore.

“So, do you think they would like all of them?” Crowley asked again with a vicious grin.

The attendant swallowed but nodded.

“I think they would be absolutely delighted.”

“Good.” Crowley said standing from his chair to his imposing full height. “Let’s talk price shall we, I plan to pay cash today and you all will deliver them to the shop.”

“Cash.” The attendant gasped out. “Shop.”

Crowley, however, was no longer listening having moved on to gaze at several watches on display. The attendant felt as if they needed a strong cuppa tea or a large pint. Whichever he saw first.

~*The Ring Collection*~

<https://www.harrywinston.com/en/collection/high-jewelry/winston-candy-by-harry-winston>

~*Crowley's Necklace*~

<https://www.zales.com/enchanted-disney-villains-jafar-110-ct-tw-diamond-snake-pendant-sterling-silver-black-rhodium-19/p/V-20300523>

~*Crowley's Ring*~

<https://www.zales.com/enchanted-disney-villains-jafar-16-ct-tw-diamond-snake-bypass-ring-sterling-silver-black-rhodium-size-7/p/V-20300527?rrec=true>

~*Crowley's Earrings*~

<https://www.zales.com/enchanted-disney-villains-jafar-110-ct-tw-diamond-snake-hoop-earrings-sterling-silver-black-rhodium/p/V-20300524?rrec=true>


	8. I’m in My Christian Dior with a Veronica Webb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nanny Just wants to visit their local bookseller.

“So all I have to do is sit here and play games while you go make out with your boyfriend?” Warlock said slowly eyeing his nanny as they stood outside of a bookshop.

“I didn’t come here just to kiss him.” Nanny Ashtoreth stated matter of fact. “I also came to show him my new dress.”

“Oooh.” Warlock said as if he understood the situation perfectly. “You're looking for a bit of action with him.”

“Something like that.” Nanny said to the boy with a smirk.

They entered the shop causing the bell to chime.

“Just a moment.” Warlock heard coming from the back of the shop.

“For what it's worth I think you will knock him dead Nanny.” Warlock laughed throwing himself into a nearby chair and turning on his switch to play.

“Thank you, dear.”

“Tell your boyfriend he needs wifi.” Warlock added gaining an amused chuckle from his watcher.

The demon clasped their hands before them and smirked when the bright visage of Aziraphale turned the corner with a smile only to freeze in shock. The angel took in the black, high collar, bishop sleeved mini dress with awe. His eyes trailed down the impossibly long black stocking covered legs to the black mesh boots with red ombre wedge heels. A black headband with netting that fell into the elegant smirking face of his demon perched on top of their fiery locks. It was most definitely not expected but very much a welcome surprise.

“Miss me, Angel?”

Aziraphale gave a timid smile glancing off to the side only to see a smirking Warlock cheekily waving at him before looking back at his console screen. That child is taking far to much from Crowley’s mischievous side.

“Of course I missed you.” Aziraphale answered nervously. “I was expecting you a lot later though.”

“We were just in the neighborhood and I thought I could drop by and pay you a little visit.” The demon purred taking predatory steps toward the angel making the other back away with a nervous smile. “I wanted to show you my new dress.”

~*Dress*~

<https://www.dior.com/en_us/products/couture-941R51A1166_X9000-wool-and-silk-dress>

~*Boots*~

<https://www.dior.com/en_us/products/couture-KCI500MRL_S31X-dior-etoile-ankle-boot-in-micro-mesh>

~*Headband*~

<https://www.dior.com/en_us/products/couture-95DOR986G140_C900-dior-or-black-headband>


	9. And I'm living like Oscar, but De La Renta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley has his priorities straight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A friend sent me a picture of the dress in this chapter and said make Crowley wear it. I have now obliged that request lol. You guys can request prompts or clothing and i'll do my best to write on it!

By this point in their lives, Aziraphale was well aware of the friends, or minions as the demon liked to call them, Crowley kept. The Angel was never thrown very far off after meeting any of Crowley’s acquaintances. That all came to a screeching halt when the demon holds out an invitation to his beau. 

“You managed to get an invite to the royal wedding? How?” The angel asked in disbelief.

“I know a few people and I worked a few miracles over the past few years.” The demon shrugged off. “I also wanted an excuse to wear that dress I saw the other day.”

“You talked your way into a royal wedding just so you could wear a dress you liked?!” Aziraphale exclaimed. 

“Of course not.” Crowley defended causing Aziraphale to breathe in relief. “I also did it for the hat I found to go with it.”

Aziraphale gave a sigh before agreeing to attend the ceremony with the other. Aziraphale was in no way prepared for his lover when he arrived at Crowley's flat on the day of the wedding. 

Crowley had grown his hair out a bit to give it enough length to curl. His makeup was all browns, bronzes, and golds in a way reminiscent of the top angels themselves. The dress he wore was black, knee-length, and fairly modest considering the demons normally clingy tastes. The top and bottom of the dress were covered in a gold lame floral print. His feet were perched in black heels with what looked like clunky gold charm bracelets around the ankles. Atop his fiery locks was a small black beret with black netting and a large black flower made of feathers. Two additional large fathers poked out the top. The whole look was striking, but easily the most toned-down Aziraphel had ever seen the demon. 

Crowley must have read the confusion on his face because he smirked reaching out to grasp the Angel’s hands.

“It’s the bride’s big day. I will not overshadow her. Especially considering how in love the bride and groom are.” 

Aziraphale smiled at the soft look in the demon’s eyes.

“You look beautiful darling.” The angel complemented placing a kiss to the taller’s cheek.

Crowley hissed as a furious blush overtook his cheeks.

“No sweet talk Angel, we have a church to get to.” The demon stuttered out rushing out the door in order to get to his car.

Aziraphale simply beamed at the demons retreating form. 

~*The Dress*~

<https://www.oscardelarenta.com/floral-jacquard-lame-cocktail-dress>

~*The Shoes*~

<https://www.oscardelarenta.com/charm-jewel-and-leather-sandal>

~*The Hat*~

<https://www.hatsinthebelfry.com/product/emma-b-natasha-47576.html>


End file.
